tl;dr
I had no idea I was neurodivergent until a chance conversation at the age of 38. It explained so much. I didn’t get a diagnosis (ADHD) until age 54 and am now in titration for medication which I am finding really helps. I feel that there may be at least one cooccurring condition, but it is best to wait until the ADHD is under control before investigating the possibility of others.
Blurry photo of me and Mick at my uni ball in 2007. I had no idea that a year later I would be diagnosed with ADHD.
The medium version
I was the dreamy, inattentive girl at school. From age 5 to 16 I attended nine schools due to moving frequently with my Dad’s job in the 70s and 80s and so there was always a reason for being a bit behind other people. I did well in exams and pop quizzes but was not so good at homework and work which I had to put together over a period of time.
I left school and went to work in London at 16. I was not attracted to the idea of more study at all. I have had 13 full time perm jobs between 1986 and 2013, three between 2015 & 2021, two periods of temping, various freelancing/contracting work between 2013 and 2023 and started my own business in 2015.
Me two years after I left school at my 18th birthday party. This was a really difficult time for me and really unsettled careerwise.
In 2008 I had a conversation with someone who was telling me about her Dyspraxia symptoms. It sounded just like me! I bought and read a book and arranged a consultation with a Psychologist. His assessment was that I was most likely to have ADHD. He did not undertake a full diagnostic assessment.
I learned lots about ADHD, The first things that hit me was that it explained why I was always spending money trying to improve. I found lots of ways to do things which I would otherwise find difficult and was pretty much able to get on. That is until perimenopause, the hormonal changes at perimenopause can make ADHD symptoms much more severe. At this point I decided that I would seek a diagnosis and try medication. It still took some time and in 2024 at the age of 54 I was finally diagnosed. It had taken a year from my initial visit to the GP and lots of pushing and chasing on my part.
The full version
Here I am at my 4th birthday a few weeks after I had taken some nail scissors to my long hair because it was in my eyes. It took me another 40 years to realise that this was a sensitivity connected to my neurotype.
I have some painful memories from school. Some of them are still really clear 40–50 years later.
Aged about six I was in a maths class being covered by someone who was not our usual teacher, I think it was the deputy head. He was throwing out numbers between one and nine and the class were shouting out the number which would make 10 if you added them together. Sounds simple enough but I was incapable of doing it. I don’t remember if I didn’t understand the task, or was scared of shouting it out and getting it wrong. After the bell rang at the end of the class he was talking to me as we left the class and he lifted me up onto a cupboard in the hallway to explain it to me. Mortifying when everyone in the school was going along the corridor to lunch or whatever! I struggled with maths the most. My parents recorded the times tables on cassette for me and would play them as I went to sleep. I am still rubbish at times tables.
We moved quite a bit during my education. In 1977 we moved to Darlington when my Dad had to go there for work. It took a while for our permanent house to be available and so lived in three different rental houses in three years. I went to one infant school for a few weeks after we moved and them moved to a junior school which was separate. We then moved again and then into our proper house meaning two more schools.
We then moved a few miles away when my Dad changed jobs, another junior school. They built one nearer to where we lived and so I changed again and at age 11 I went to senior school. In the meantime Dad hurt his back in an accident and in 1984 we had to move South for him to retrain. Another school change at 14 in (the equivalent of) year 10.
All this meant that I kept getting behind as I would not have covered everything that the new school had and I was always the weird new kid trying to make friends midway through the year and not having the right shoes.
I was good at some classes, not so good at others and consistently terrible at maths. I had my hand up a lot in class in the early primary years answering questions and was really good at spelling until we got to the weird ones.
Once we started having to be more self directed it was a problem. I hated homework and remember lots of upsets at home. In my second to last school I was on track to get 9 O levels or GCSE grade A-C. I ended up with a couple of good grades in English, Biology and a C in Maths! (no idea how), a few lower level grades in French and another couple of classes.
I left school at 16 and went to work in London as a Telex operator. I had no idea of a career so I applied for a few jobs out of the Evening Standard and took that as I felt I would be able to see what other jobs looked interesting. I lasted six months in that one, I was so bored. They recruited me to cover the busy reinsurance renewal season, it wasn’t very busy and so I looked for another job and left in the January.
The rest of my (nearly) 40 year career is a repeating pattern of application, excitement, followed by an issue, either boredom, imposter syndrome or actually incapable of performing the role. Tears, self sabotage, failed probationary periods and “redundancy”. Later on I had some longer, more successful roles. I worked for a large reinsurance underwriter for four years in second line IT support, BBC Worldwide on their service desk, Worldcom for four years in IT support and found a fella along the waywhich led to a move to Leeds.
I ran a multi-occupancy building in Leeds for four years until I had a stroke and then I started working for myself and found myself at Government Digital Service running a programme of training for Service Owners. That was the best thing and it has led to lots of other interesting work. I wouldn’t call it a career though.
Going back to 2008, I met with someone who spoke to me about her Dyspraxia and how it affected her life. As she described her experiences, I couldn’t help but think that she was describing my own struggles. When I got home I purchased the book “That’s the Way I Think — Dyslexia, dyspraxia and ADHD explained” by David Grant and read it cover to cover as soon as it arrived. The book confirmed that I had many of the symptoms associated with dyslexia and other conditions.
I decided to seek out an assessment with Dr. Grant, who practiced in London, mostly supporting students. The assessment process was fascinating, and I was particularly interested in the results of my Wechsler Adult Intelligence Scales scores. My verbal comprehension, perceptual organisation, and processing speed scores were all within the top 91 to 98 percentile of the UK population. However, my working memory score was significantly lower, indicating that I may have ADHD as opposed to Dyslexia or Dyspraxia. The ADHD checklist I completed also suggested ADHD.
In the report, Dr Grant said that to confirm the diagnosis, signs of ADHD need to have been evident before the age of seven and manifest themselves in more than one setting. As I was 38 at the time of the assessment this would be difficult to prove.
This (sort of) diagnosis was very helpful. It helped me to think of my life and some of the challenges I have experienced in a different light. I learned lots about ADHD and found ways to do things which I would otherwise find difficult.
It took 16 years for me to speak to a GP, get the forms, complete them, send them in, and push the organisations involved to successfully get an assessment and then a diagnosis. The main reason I decided to move forward was the worsening of my symptoms as perimenopause arrived. I had also spoken to someone who was a couple of years older and was in titration for medication. She said it was useful and so I finally had a reason to get an assessment.
It was interesting as I had been saying that I am an ADHDer for at least the last ten years but it did feel slightly more real once I got the ‘stamp’.
“After completing the DIVA 5.0 semi-structured interview, I am satisfied Sharon meets the DSM-5 criteria for a diagnosis of
ADHD. Sharon demonstrates impairments in all 3 domains: inattention, hyperactivity and impulsivity.”
I then started titration with medication. I tried Elvanse first but despite early excitement, it did not seem to have any impact. I swapped to Meflynate XL and that has so far been successful. I feel fairly well regulated and can tell if I need to take a step back when things feel overwhelming and I can regroup.
Now I have refocussed my work to encompass three areas which I really enjoy, Facilitation, Coaching and Public Speaking. I find that working for myself is better for me than working in organisations and that the episodic nature of my work is better for me than a job with a fixed routine.
What is your story?
